R U…
Bringing clarity to an overwhelmed mind in business and in life…
The more I get to know me the more I realize it’s not about me. In moments that I get in my head I have to ask myself can It wait? But even that question took time to be comfortable asking and answering that question. I have moments that I am going through thoughts and feelings and I am dealing with them head on. I have moments that I am going through thoughts and feelings that I know can take a back seat. No one is free from the test of life it’s just how we manage those test.
Who we are is one of the most important things we have to decide to truly be in order to be successful in this life. Over the past few years, I have gone through test that have put me to the ultimate test of life. Over the past few years, I have had the highest highs and the lowest lows. Over the past few years, those tests, those opportunities allowed me to understand better. For so long I would avoid those rough test of life and just fake through it and hope I make it out alive. Even though I would make it through the test I would end up being more damaged than I was before. I remember finally hitting this point in my career when I was filling out less applications and now having people interested and reaching out seeing if I would consider working for their company. During that turning point in my life I was dealing with a tug of war. My business was doing good and taking off, but my life was at a stand still. I wasn’t dumb and knew I should pay attention to the life of no movement, but business was good. See, I was at a point in my career when I thought the cover up would work. I was thanking God during the day, and business was taking off. But at night I was in my head and thoughts going through It, whatever It was.
At night I was really hoping that whatever reservoir of “Thank you Father” I have stored up would be enough to get me through It, whatever It was. Instead of putting in the time to being thankful in all things I would rather stay down well past the 10 count. During the working business hours, I was who I was designed to be. Glorifying Him through my work but at night I would take a break from work. As time went on I finally had to be real and understand that in this tug of war someone will lose, and our Father never loses. As time went on, I began to rely on my feelings more than knowledge, understanding, and wisdom. As my vulnerability grew the more I began to work off of my feelings and less knowledge, understanding, and wisdom. As business was growing so was the exposure to other resources in the industry. That is when I finally got that call that would increase my salary to a huge significant amount. While the opportunity was great, it’s how we manage those tests.
As business was taking off my life was at a standstill, and I was relying on feelings. When this great opportunity was presented to me, I was still no different. I didn’t put in the time to always be thankful in all things. As business was taking off I was taking more time off with my Father hoping “Thank you Father” during the day was enough. It finally came to head when I was losing everything one after another. I had no problem working through the day but at night when I needed to put in some more work, I would rather take a break. There is a word in Hebrew, Avodah, meaning work, worship, and service. In all things that we do I was to glorify Him in my works, my Avodah. As I Avodah (work, worhsip, and service) during the business hours things seemed to be great. But after “business hours” I would rather take a break. I knew this call and opportunity would come I just wasn’t ready for when it made its presence known. Increasing my salary to a huge significant amount was the best band aid I could receive at that moment.
I went into this opportunity not realizing that in all moments we are to Avodah. I failed to come to the real realization that those things I have read and studied will need to be put to the test. When we get elevated in life I had to remember that its new ground and I needed to find my balance. I needed to put in the extra work to learn instead of taking a break. I was hoping that the increase in salary was a big enough band aid to help cover up the wound. As time went on the band aid started to lose its adhesiveness, as I began to loosen my grip on Him. I went into this amazing opportunity relying more on my feelings than knowledge, understanding, and wisdom. I was hoping that my old ways of doing things would work. I was hoping that my success in this one level would carry over to the next level up. This amazing opportunity that I was presented with came with more responsibility. I began to realize I am responsible for all aspects of my life and business. If I want to be able to keep business consistently good then I would have to consistently work, worship, and service. Slowly but surely I was taking more responsibility for this opportunity, being responsible and managing my time. Then it finally happened my business and life finally started to line up.
My life was at a standstill and my business became a standstill. Hands high in the air asking what now as everything was in a standstill. Just as I was managing this opportunity things started to just disappear from my life. The one thing that started to show up consistently was a consistent Thank You Father as my Avodah was being put under Him, my covering. For the stand was still so I could re-root my roots back into His Word.
“These things I have spoken unto you that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” (John 6:33, KJV)
