Trust Yourself…
I almost missed out on a fun evening that was full of good food and laughter. I almost put my full Trust in a feeling which would have robbed me from living life. I am not dismissing feelings but the feeling I had at the moment was from the past. Once I allowed the past to creep in, I began to doubt my current thoughts. My current moment was turning into a disaster from the past. I was losing Trust in myself. Trust Me…
I am an athlete through and through. I grew up in sports playing, coaching, watching, and now officially a travel basketball “GirlDad”, my daughter got bit by the sport bug. I still wake up early in the morning doing something active from weight training, surfing, to laundry. Yes, laundry is a part of my weekly exercise routine because that is dedicated mental strength training in a book time. Anyways the point is that for me growing up in sports has shaped me into living a structured life, and I like it that way. But as I live and learn life, I am learning that there will be moments where you just have to trust yourself. Trust who you are and what you say.
Living a structured life for me isn’t one that comes with Siri setting off alarm after alarm. Notifying me of the structured things I have to come. For me I have my day planned according to what I know needs to get done first and what I want will get done when I get to it. That is my structured life. But such as life when you go your way and get thrown a wrench many times it starts to alter you, as you allow negative feeling after negative feeling in. I like to be on time but as in life sometimes you just have to go with the punches, or that is what they say. For me punch after punch began to cause damage and if not addressed quickly it would be permanent. I had to throw in the towel. Why is everyone always late to everything? Why can’t people just show up on time so we can end on time? The frustration, which wasn’t much, began to feed into me building its strength. I live this structured life, why can’t you respond to me on time, I have things to do? The more I began to experience the more I took myself out of the game of life. If this is what life is about then stop this roller coaster ride, I am ready to get off.
This little structured life feed me right into its own version of life, but there were no players around. Just me, myself, and I, Los Tres Amigos. We won’t waste time on those three because those three as One accomplished nothing by themselves. Trust Me…When the three let go of the Me and focused on the We they began to play the game of life again, but this time the right way. This was a new structured life, a life seeking God’s Kingdom and Righteousness first, while living life focused on the We before the me. There is nothing wrong with living a structured life, but in the game of life there are other players. Instead of competing in the game of life we should be there to live life with each other. I know what needs to be done and if I manage my time correctly what needs to get done will. I also know that I am not alone and I need others, and I need to manage my life accordingly to what is right. It sounds complicated but each step in faith of faith makes it easier.
I was losing trust in myself. I had to regain trust within myself before I could move forward in the right direction. I am a man of my word and I said I will be there at 7pm, but still they didn’t respond today that they will be there. But, yesterday they did say they will be there at 7pm, and I trust them. I am a man of my word, and I say I trust people and I trust them, but still some doubt. This battle went on before it was literally almost too late to leave. I began to regain some trust in myself just in the last minutes. I was late but after being honest and open of how I got in my feelings, they regained my trust through honesty. I regained my trust again through honesty. I Trust Me…Trust Yourself…
