Too Much…
Bringing clarity to an overwhelmed mind in business and in life…
It was all too much a few weekends ago after I saw again my daughter crying after another loss. See, my daughter has joined the travel basketball community and she is loving it. Well, she loves it up until they lose a game and then its “don’t talk mode” for a bit before she comes back to reality. She really has made a home with her teammates and team, and I know as her dad I’ve seen her mature into a young woman. Through all this I found out my daughter is vocal on the court and amongst her teammates, which was the opposite of me. While it’s great that she is finding her leadership style and learning to practice and become it, sometimes It can be too much. She tends to put too much pressure on herself, because she is known for being one of the vocal players. At times when the game is on the line, she for some reason throws the whole team on her back. Actually, to be honest the whole team tends to put the whole team on their backs, really leaving no actual players on the court. Everyone goes from playing basketball to becoming problem solvers.
The coach does a great job in telling all players, starter or non-starter they are all leaders and need to find their lead on the team and lead with it. A few of the girls are the shooters, a couple are ball handlers, some have great defense, and some are the vocal players. My daughter is a player off the bench that can keep things going and keep the talking on the court moving to keep her teammates in gaged. My daughter has accepted her current position and she along with her teammates have all accepted their roles and are all leaders. But a few weekends ago it was all too much. They played two great teams that were honestly a little more fluid and committed to their plays and so my daughter and her teammates got out played. I will say the last game was the game that was too much. Everyone on the team went from basketball players just barely learning how to even run a play as a team to trying to figure the game out from back to front to put them in the lead. It was all too much and you could see it on the coaches face. As the players were going up and down the court the coach could barely keep his eyes on the court. As one girl gets subbed in the one subbing out is full of schemes and advice, and this went on for most of the game.
As the game ended life itself ended as the girls were full of tears. All us parents going to our daughters as tears are building up in their eyes. I see my daughter and the tears flowing from her face as you can see all the stress, they were all carrying on their shoulders for no reason. Finally, the coach was able to say his words on how he felt the game went. There were no words spoken with higher or lower decimals as everything was calm and plain, “I don’t understand why you put so much on yourselves”. Just like that these girls listened and began to calm down as if they instantly realized, oh we barely even know this game of basketball. These girls put something on their shoulders they couldn’t even carry because they weren’t ready to carry that load yet. All they were to do was be in the position the coach puts them in and just do their part. It was a very simple concept but at times it can be too much. We can be too much for ourselves as we place extra weight on our shoulders just because we think we are the savior.
There is only so much that you and I can do. There is only so much that We can do. In this pursuit of being of value we can’t assume we will be everyone’s savior. As my daughter and her teammates create value amongst themselves they can’t assume they will be able to save the team and lead them to victory. No matter if you have played sports or not we have either seen it or experienced; when it’s your day it’s your day, and when it’s not it’s Not. No matter what we do there are some days we were supposed to just be present but instead we wanted to make that big play. Sometimes I was more focused on results instead of being present and just delivering what God has blessed me with. We are all a blessing to and for each other. We can’t save everyone, but we can be a blessing to everyone by just giving what we know we can give. We just need to give the best version of Us, the right version of Us.
