The Battles…
I couldn’t fight my way through my battles. I had to work through my battles. Not with my head down avoiding any bullets or distractions, but with my head held high. It’s hard to work through a battle if you can’t see the direction of the bullets.
Growing up in a family that loved to participate and watch sports you came to know the word “humble”, or maybe that was just my dad’s favorite word. We spent countless days at the park watching my dad play in his softball league. My dad loved softball and we did too it was fun times as a family. Especially when dad was in the dugout yelling to his teammate on the mound before he under hand throws the ball, “keep the batter humble”. Me thinking in my head yea that is what you get Mr. Arrogant batter, my dad sees through you. I never really knew if it ever affected any batters or my dad’s teammates, but it stuck with me. I became humble and not to be humble but not to be seen as Mr. Arrogant. I became the man behind the scenes, Mr. Chameleon that can blend into any environment. You can’t see through the crowd so then you can’t see through me.
The chameleon act I had going on was a person who was afraid to speak up. I was so afraid of becoming Mr. Arrogant I transformed into Mr. Chameleon. While it has had some success it has come at a heavy price, especially when it comes to speaking up and addressing issues. The battles that I was self-inflecting over and over again was starting to become an all-out internal war. I really took the “keep the batter humble” to heart and while I was talented at many things, I was never great at this or that one thing. I just blended into the crowd staying humble shining when called upon and back to the crowd I go doing my part. This all out internal war was inflicting damage that if not addressed quickly will cause permanent damage.
This war had to be won but in order to do that I needed to find the source. I needed to find where all the power came from so then I can overpower it and take back authority. I wanted to win this battle the one that really mattered at the moment, but I had to find the power source first. I need to get past this…I…I…I need to Stop N’ Think for a second. After talking with a friend, they pointed out it all comes down to fear. Instantly as I was listening, I quickly knew they were right, fear. Well, that would be the right way to react to that situation, but I didn’t. I was quick to turn my ear dial to the perfect channel, Listen to Respond, it’s on 24/7. I don’t recommend it though causes a lot of disturbance in the air. After some time, we came to a nice and wonderful end to our conversation, and I can honestly say we did. Before hanging up they said, “I am so glad we worked through this.” I would have to agree I was glad We worked through this battle together.
I was the power source, but it took me overcoming my flesh and dialing into the right channel, Listen to Learn. I did learn something; I don’t work through battles. We work through battles together as one.
“…Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” (Matthew 22:39)
