No, I Won’t…
No, I won’t accept the negative thoughts or opinions that come my way. I can no longer accept those things that are false. The more negative I take the more negative I give. If I am not careful the negative I keep taking will turn into a positive giving of the wrong thing.
I had to take a step back and really analyze what I just heard come out my daughter’s mouth. Yea, yea you got it right I am not going to tell you what she said, just yet. Let the suspense sink in…
My Kbear, aka my little boo, my daughter has taught me so much as a man, father, brother, co-worker, I mean anything with a partnership she is somehow connected. The partnership that my daughter and I have along this parenting journey is turning into something very special. We are creating this bond that I pray, and hope will be un-breakable, but I never expected it to take this kind of turn. Just as things were getting good, I now believe things will be getting better as my daughter was the one taking me to school. At first, I was shooketh and couldn’t believe what was happening, but I had to be a man about it and apologize.
As we were sitting at home watching tv I could hear my daughter on her laptop playing one of her games. Not even thinking about it my mind went straight into “I am the parent and I need to teach you a lesson mode”. See, when it comes to video games, I limit them in my house because I am tired of hearing sighs and ughs over a video game. I can’t take too much of it bottom line. So, in those moments of allowing my daughter time to play video games I am usually teaching something about Patience. The teachings typically begin just a few minutes into playing, but this time was different. My daughter schooled me and schooled me good.
As the taps are tapping away at the controller my mind is in teaching mode and ready because I am feeling good today. Tap tap tap away and just like clockwork that sigh came, and it was a big sigh. But just like that I wasn’t ready, I thought I was, but I wasn’t. Just as I was going from 0-60 in .2 seconds my Kbear screams I’m So Smart as I yell Not Today…Oh, ummm that was not supposed to happen like that. How did I turn an awesome moment into a bad moment in .2 seconds? How could I be that cold hearted to just deny my Kbear’s moment of victory? I was so used to accepting negative the negative reaction felt more right than reacting with a positive reaction. As I tried to catch my words before they slipped out it was too late the eyes…Oh no the big eyes filling with water…What did I do wrong dad? Nothing was all I could say and think of, Nothing.
The nothing turned into I am sorry, and you are smart, and dad made a mistake. I made a big mistake by allowing myself to give off a false positive reaction to my Kbear that caused confusion. I had to see that my negative reaction first started out as something I thought was positive, to stay in teacher mode. But in reality, all it did was keep me in this I know it all mode because I am the parent. The moment I went into that mindset I went ownership mode based off everyone else’s owns reactions to things. Basically, it was other people’s fault for how I reacted. It wasn’t the right mindset, but it felt right to me and all it did was finally teach me my lesson. The more negative I take the more negative I give. If I am not careful the negative I keep taking will turn into a positive giving of the wrong thing.
