Instant Gratification…
Bringing clarity to an overwhelmed mind…
Instant gratification for me was something I knew that I was chasing for most of my life. As a child my dad taught me patience through our conversations and activities. One of our favorite things to do was to go fishing and that is a place where you find patience. Literally just decide to go fishing one day and patience will be there waiting for you ready to put you through the test just as It has everyone else who attempted the challenge. For myself just being around water brings peace and joy, because growing up that was the place our family was together the most. We would go to Redondo Beach Pier and order fresh live crab for lunch. We spent some weekends going to the mountains and fishing in the lakes and streams. As I have gotten older that love for water has remained constant but at times patience gets the best of me. Or maybe I got the best of me…
My love for water has grown and now I have added surfing into my life. I was tired of standing on the pier and looking at the surfers in the water. It wasn’t always the waves they were catching that hooked me but when you look deeper there is some form of a bond. Maybe best friends, family, or just met for the first time but no matter what there was always a smile amongst surfers. As I added surfing into my life patience like always was right there ready to greet me with a big smile and hug. As I have gotten older, I am starting to not just see what is coming but take notes. I have been blind-sided so many times in life I don’t really know if I have any more room for scars on my body. I knew I wasn’t going to just jump on a surfboard and crush it in the water, tail flipping, riding barrels for days. Yea, those are the waves I will be chasing along with every other surfer. But in this beginning stage of surfing patience was teaching me to just be comfortable in the water and be present. I was once again a student. Patience has a way of humbling us…
As I moved along from riding a wave on my knees to being able to stand things started to become fun. As surfing began to become fun, I began to feel more freedom. The more comfortable I got in the water and surfing the more I would challenge myself and go to the next level, attempting to catch a bigger wave. Surfing was a fun challenge chasing that next big wave, that next perfect set that is only dreamed of. Driving from beach to beach for the perfect wave, the perfect moment you know you see in your dreams. I know I have seen myself ride these perfect waves in my dreams and I was out chasing that perfect wave. As the chase grew for the perfect wave my impatience grew right along with it, self-inflicted wound. The more and more I chased that perfect wave the more impatient I grew. That instant gratification I would get every time I pulled up to the next beach to find that perfect wave started to diminish along with fun. Surfing is fun when I am out in the water with friends, but I no longer enjoyed just being out there by myself. That chase for the perfect wave wasn’t a chase after all. I was once again a student. Patience has a way of humbling us…
As I began to chase the next best wave, I was slowly losing focus of a lesson right in front of me. I was so caught up in the feelings and emotions of riding wave after wave I was becoming numb to a simple thing. It’s a lesson that has been at my personal doorstep for years because that is Its true self, consistency. When I first started surfing, I would get this instant gratification that seemed so small but was so huge. At the beginning I was a nervous wreck but as that fear faded, I was just grateful to be there in the water. That instant gratification of being present and showing up was what was needed to get me through whatever fear I was battling. I knew as long as I showed up God would do the rest. I had a part to play and that was being consistent in my actions with the right mindset. All I had to do was to have faith, believe, and show up, be consistently present. But as I chased the next best wave, the next best thing in life, I was neglecting consistency in anything. I was receiving instant gratification, but it wasn’t good enough, because it wasn’t right. I was chasing my own personal gratification, my own personal high. My heart and mind were not in the consistent place it was when all I needed to do was just show up and let God show out. I had to first choose to go back to the beginning and start again. I had to get back to the right consistent mindset. I knew as long as I showed up God would do the rest. I just need to be consistent in my heart and mind focused on the right things. I was once again a student. Patience has a way of humbling us…
