Golden Opportunities…
I was presented with these golden opportunities all my life. I wasn’t blind to them as I could see that it was right for my life, and probably was the best thing for me. But still I was hesitant to capture these golden moments not out of fear from the unknown but from the known.
I know who I am, but it took a long time to accept it. This was the known that I kept hidden from everyone and it cost me golden opportunities. For so long this chameleon just blended in with the crowd popping in and out to make little appearances here and there. It was easy to fit in with the crowd and go with the flow as that was the normal life. A normal life that has held me back from so many golden opportunities. I was too afraid to let that light in me shine because I was afraid it would tarnish my relationships. Those golden relationships where the real me was ready to shine but only to be held back out of fear. This false fear that was never proven wrong or right. I just assumed this was the road my relationships would head down if the real me was revealed. The road to destruction, embarrassment, shame, name it and that was the road any relationship I was in would end up once the real me was revealed. Now that I think about it maybe that was the problem all along, it was about me.
As I have accepted this walk with God the more and more I realize that I really don’t have much to do with anything. See, in the past I kept the real me back from coming forth robbing not just me but whomever I was talking with from a golden opportunity. When I, my thoughts, started to get in the way it robbed us both of a golden relationship with the possibility to create golden opportunities. The more I got in the way the more I spoke what I thought would want to be heard. I was robbing us both of this gold when two individuals let their guards down and not fake the funk. For so many years I have revealed this not so real version of me to the world and in return I have received this not so real reality. I have reaped what I have sown, and I was tired of reaping the same harvest year after year. I wasn’t growing just stagnate with the same predictable fruit for all to see. All those golden opportunities missed because I was afraid of the real me, I was afraid of the road my relationships would head down. This not so real reality wasn’t a golden ticket like I thought it would turn out to be. I knew I would have to take that leap of faith into the known and accept who I am. I had to accept me in order for those golden opportunities to be opened the right way. I know that when the real me, the real me God created, was presented then the golden opportunities would present themselves. Those golden relationships that create those golden opportunities.
“For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” (Matthew 18:20)
